um, can i rant a bit?

just a bit?

k.

thanks.

i should probably do this on a dA journal because that's what it relates to but i don't update that journal, so whatever.

in about july, i decided to make a header banner for this very lj: HERE. it is a photomanipulation, i wanted to do something kind of "dark" just for the hell of it. it's a redo of a manipulation i did a year or so ago, and i'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, since i have practically no experience with photomanip and it was just for my own personal use.

apparently, the rest of deviantart loves it to, since i now have 127 favorites on it. i got something like 80 within the first week it was up, or something. i don't remember exactly.

i shouldn't be complaining that i made something popular, i guess. but holy christ.

it's a fucking LJ HEADER.

I DON'T REALLY CARE TOO HARD ABOUT IT.

i put it up on dA because it did take a little effort and i do like how it came out. but this is ridiculous.

there are many other pieces i worked equally hard on; i am far, far more proud of some of my photography and all of my writing than i am of some brushed-over and overused stock image. my writing is ME, it is personal. i would much rather get attention for how i write than how i use photoshop on some photograph someone else took. not to mention, people don't even look at the rest of my shit; they just see the piece on someone else's favorites list, add it to their own, and be on their merry way. which is fine, but.

is that selfish? i mean, i'll admit i haven't been very active on dA. i should be happy to be recognized for something; but that stock has been used a thousand times and plenty of them in the same capacity that i used it in. i'm not proud of it because it's original. because it's not. i'm proud of 'mechanics' because it's rare that i write and to be frank, i really doubt there's too many poems using a newton's cradle as an extended metaphor. i'm proud of 'windows' because it was a fluke shot of my friend's cat that turned out to be totally perfect. i'm proud of 'any kind of truth' because the image's message means a lot to me. i'm proud of everything, even the photomanip, it's just that that one piece isn't all me. it's an arrangement of resources. out of everything that is mine, it is the least me.

so is that selfish? to want to be recognized for something close to my heart, as opposed to something that i am emotionally neutral towards? or am i asking for too much here?