um, can i rant a bit?

just a bit?

k.

thanks.

i should probably do this on a dA journal because that's what it relates to but i don't update that journal, so whatever.

in about july, i decided to make a header banner for this very lj: HERE. it is a photomanipulation, i wanted to do something kind of "dark" just for the hell of it. it's a redo of a manipulation i did a year or so ago, and i'm pretty happy with the way it turned out, since i have practically no experience with photomanip and it was just for my own personal use.

apparently, the rest of deviantart loves it to, since i now have 127 favorites on it. i got something like 80 within the first week it was up, or something. i don't remember exactly.

i shouldn't be complaining that i made something popular, i guess. but holy christ.

it's a fucking LJ HEADER.

I DON'T REALLY CARE TOO HARD ABOUT IT.

i put it up on dA because it did take a little effort and i do like how it came out. but this is ridiculous.

there are many other pieces i worked equally hard on; i am far, far more proud of some of my photography and all of my writing than i am of some brushed-over and overused stock image. my writing is ME, it is personal. i would much rather get attention for how i write than how i use photoshop on some photograph someone else took. not to mention, people don't even look at the rest of my shit; they just see the piece on someone else's favorites list, add it to their own, and be on their merry way. which is fine, but.

is that selfish? i mean, i'll admit i haven't been very active on dA. i should be happy to be recognized for something; but that stock has been used a thousand times and plenty of them in the same capacity that i used it in. i'm not proud of it because it's original. because it's not. i'm proud of 'mechanics' because it's rare that i write and to be frank, i really doubt there's too many poems using a newton's cradle as an extended metaphor. i'm proud of 'windows' because it was a fluke shot of my friend's cat that turned out to be totally perfect. i'm proud of 'any kind of truth' because the image's message means a lot to me. i'm proud of everything, even the photomanip, it's just that that one piece isn't all me. it's an arrangement of resources. out of everything that is mine, it is the least me.

so is that selfish? to want to be recognized for something close to my heart, as opposed to something that i am emotionally neutral towards? or am i asking for too much here?

my internet has been really slow. it's kind of annoying. my mom thinks that our little twat of a neighbor is bleeding off of our cable - idk, if he is i want to cut his throat because this is annoying and we don't pay 2345574525345234 dollars a month for dial-up speed. i want my fast internet back, jesus. i think it also has to do with the heat. i couldn't explain the physics of that one to you by any means but every time the weather heats up the internet, idk, it melts or something. /i'm not really that stupid guys, just so you know

my house is a piece of shit. as such, the other day our stove just decided to up and quit working. well, the oven part. the cooktop is fine, but my mom tried to turn on the oven last week and all it did was leak gas.

"mom, something smells funny."
"it's.... chicken."
"yes, because chicken definitely smells like a natural gas leak."
"...... smartass."

ahem. so my mom went on a pilgrimage to her favorite [and incidentally, my least favorite] place in the whole wide world, other than ikea - sears. and then lowes. and then in lowes she was like "ok, we're getting this oven." so we bought it. end of story. poof. it'll be here in a few days, and since it doesn't match up with our fridge or our dishwasher, we'll have to replace those, too.

wink wink. yeah, our dishwasher is kind of falling out of the wall, and the fridge, while it still works, the icemaker is a gay ass little motherfucker and doesn't like dispensing ice half the time and the thing is kind of small, so we were planning on getting rid of those pieces of shit anyway.

i'm probably going to see if taylor needs help moving shit on wednesday into his ~new apartment. he's been moving shit right along recently, what with various discoveries yesterday and today hauling crap into his new place. i haven't heard him as excited as he was yesterday in a long time. i kinda wanted just to hug him. unfortunately that's a little bit more than impossible over the ~phone. my mom was pleasantly surprised too... but that's because she's a genealogy freak, whatever.

new pieces of photography on dA. i'll uh, actually post them on here when the spirit moves me. right now i'm tired and eating pizza, and i care about little else.

screw doing shit over the summer, i just found this son of a bitch of a challenge for the sims. 8 randomized sims in an asylum, you're only allowed to control one and you have to keep the other sims happy [and alive] while trying to prove yourself mentally stable by achieving your lifetime aspiration.

oh, this will be fun. i'm building an asylum in the neighborhood i play. this is going to be exciting.

fallen from the sky is going to be in town again on the 26th but they're having trouble booking a venue :[ i hit all the obvious places - stella blue, graffiti - and duhhh, they're booked. so here's hoping someone much more competent than i can get the guys a place to play because i've gotta go see them again. their cd? uh, yeah, it's amazing, if that cd were a guy i'd be on that shit like white on rice, baby.

i've got this urge to start watching splatter flicks again. saw was great, i don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks. mindless violence is FINE BY ME. no, really, i am actually rather mentally stable, thank you. get away from me with that jacket.

oh and tvtropes will ruin your fucking life. just so you know.

started a new deviantart account. nobody cares. haha.

midseason finale of ghost hunters better be bangin' awesome or i'll be mad.