and i don't want to sound selfish, but i want him back; would give anything for another shot. i miss him; he's somewhere else in the country and it's almost more torturous this way. like hugging him as my best friend will help the pain of missing him as mine.

i think i'm okay, then i look around and i start crying again; unfortunate side effects when you and someone else share so many jokes and such.

i've been told not to give up hope, that maybe something will change; but too much hope is bad, people are unpredictable, and you can't make someone love you.

i wish i could try though.